Things My Family May Never Understand

Posted on September 30, 2013 Updated on September 30, 2013

The decision to become a Christian seemed natural to me: I had always believed in the existence of God (even though people told me there was not god). I can remember, at six-years-old, standing on the jungle gym wondering why God made me exist; why I could see though my eyes and thinking how small I was and how big God must be. My mother even told me that God hates it when you lie and He always knows when you do. So, as a teenager it seemed natural to make that step – to become a Christian, be baptized and follow Jesus fully.

I had thought that this change would change my personal life but I had no idea how it would change my family’s perception of me. There are a few things I really want my parents and siblings to understand:

1. Why my faith is so important to me
   During the most crucial points in my life, a certain Christian family made sure that my sisters and I were at church with them. And while I may not have accepted Christ until I was a teenager, a foundation of faith was built. Now, I understood that God existed before being told and to this day I can see that He exists just by every miracle of the universe. My jump from agnosticism to Christianity is based in faith: I can prove, scientifically, that God exists; however, my belief in the saving grace of Jesus Christ is my chosen religion and I accept that I must believe it on faith.My faith in Christ shows me how I follow Jesus daily and build up the fruits of the spirit in my life: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control. My faith tells me how to love and respect my husband; how to love and raise my family; how to love and serve others; and how to love and worship God. I want my actions in my faith be proof of Jesus for others and to glorify the Father.

   Jesus is my life – without him I am and have nothing. What good is it for someone to gain the whole world but lose his soul? (Matthew 16:26)

2. Why I chose to be a minister
   I know that ministry wasn’t my parent’s preferred career path for me. I could have gone to a university and become anything I wanted, so why ministry? I wanted to be a minister: I love to help people. Even before I became a Christian, I always thought people ignored the pains of the rest of world. It seemed that no one else seemed to share my views or compassions but as I delved into the Bible I learned that Jesus cared for the sick, widowed, orphaned, poor, the least of these. I knew that ministers didn’t make a lot of money and that some churches didn’t allow women to be pastors at all but a degree in ministry would help me learn more about the God I loved and propel me into a world of helping people.In Bible school I wondered if I was making the right choice. I could become a nurse or doctor and still help people, right? Then, one day there was a fourteen-year-old kid standing outside the church offices. I asked him if he was looking for someone and he said, “I need to talk to someone. I messed up and I want to fix my life.” I couldn’t believe my ears. I called the youth pastor who took the young man to lunch and talked with him about his lifestyle and this boy became a Christian. He then told his friends about a church that was helping him turn his life around and brought them to church with him. Soon, our church was a popular place for kids with less-than-perfect lifestyles wanting to turn their lives around. It wasn’t easy and some of the kids went back to their life or joined gangs or even went to jail but the ones that remained graduated high school and have maintained their faith. It was that fourteen-year-old boy that made me remember why I wanted to be a minister.

   A pastor taught me that a good minister doesn’t just fulfill their job description but does whatever needs to be done for the cause of Christ’s ministry.

3. How hard it is to be mocked and judged by my own family
   It is hard not to be taken seriously by my own family. I seldom solicit the advice of my mother because we have such radically different views. My parents think I’m brilliantly smart and have accepted my faith as part of my life but don’t think it should dictate how I live. I am treated by my siblings as though this faith is a delusion I will eventually grow out of: I truly believe and yet I’m not taken seriously. Some of my family have tried to “tell me how it is” or said “I’m not falling for any of this Jesus Crap”.Some of my siblings have said they believe I am judging their lifestyles yet they’ve never asked my opinion. Almost every one of them has called me “close-minded” when my views have not been heard. They feel put down by my faith when I have never put them down. They’re vocal about their beliefs to me but promptly say that I am not allowed to be vocal about my faith or “try to change them”.

   Normally I would have no problem with these dispositions (say, at work or with friends), but when having faith means I have to walk on eggshells around my family to try not to offend anyone… It becomes so difficult. I love them unconditionally: regardless of their faith or lifestyles. And yet, somehow, no matter what I don’t do, they’re offended.

I write this muse in hopes that one day I hope my family will really, truly understand the salvation of Jesus Christ and follow him with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength.